You probably can't tell, but this show was recorded in the immediate wake of Roe v. Wade being overturned, so Ronnie and Jazz are understandably miffed. So miffed, in fact, that they took a vacation from America by way of an episode of Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders. "De Los Inocentes" is a yarn set in Mexico about a wife brutally slaughtered and a husband looking suspect. But remember, in Beyond Borders, the white person is never the culprit. So who is? Oh, some fucking foreigner with a really, really stupid motive. We're talking sinkhole episode stupid. Get off that student loan cancellation high and remember your hate with the new Deliver The Profile!
Also: new Beyond Borders-specific music!
Puke! That's a funny word, right? Well, it accurately describes the Adam Rodriguez spotlight episode "Luke", in which a blast from Alvez's past puts his cushy life at risk. Who's going to die? His girlfriend? The dog? The black best friend who's only been in one other episode? You know enough to about television to know which it'll be.
Talkin' 'Bout Turtles is back to discuss Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie, a straight to Netflix "movie" that is basically Brian Yuzna's Society meets Terminator but with none of the fun or interesting or awesome bits. Will Leonardo finally become the leader? Why is Haley Joel Osment voicing a Kyle Reese version of Casey Jones? Did the Krang have to be the stuff of nightmares? This is not for children. It's not even really for adults. It's for no one. It's nothing. Blessedly, the "movie" marks the end of this wretched installment of the franchise. Also: Rotten Tomatoes: threat or menace?
Jazz is back! Everyone's second favorite host returns to a doozy of a nothing of an episode, "Night Lights", also known as the Moleman episode. Are moles people? Should they be people? It's a later season episode so expect it to be stupid, half-formed and ultimately not a lot to talk about. Luckily, the boys have BIG CRIMINAL MINDS REVIVAL news to share with you, the listener. Yes, it's that time again.