Still Suspect Behavin', still struggling. "Strays" places Richard Schiff's FBI director front and center when he uses the red cell to track down his goddaughter. This is a lot like Taken, only instead of Liam Neeson it's a half dozen morons and instead of a luxurious villain hangout the sex slavery auction takes place in an abandoned warehouse. Also: is Forest Whitaker Santa Claus?

Blame Jazz. He's the one who wanted the Suspect Behavior episodes off his hard drive, so for the next four weeks Deliver The Profile is putting the finishing touches on the beleaguered Forest Whitaker-centric spinoff. Things don't get off to a good start as "The Time Is Now", despite featuring A Talking Cat!?! star Eric Roberts and Giancarlo Esposito, is the worst episode of Criminal Minds the podcast have ever done. Worse than the autism one, worse than the sinkhole one, worse than any of the other Suspect Behaviors. If you've ever wanted to learn more about FBI Director Richard Schiff, this is the one to watch. But who the fuck cares about the FBI director? Who wants to know about Forest Whitaker's past off the grid? How about Janeane Garofalo's desk or lack thereof? "The Time Is Now" grasps at straws, managing to hold on to none of them. Three more episodes of this. Mercy.

There's a new Ninja Turtles cartoon in town and that means Ronnie and Jazz are going to complain about it! For this April Fool's holiday enjoy a podcast - recorded months ago and unearthed today - about Nickelodeon's latest shitty permutation of Eastman and Laird's cash cow. What differentiates this from the last one? Where's Shredder? Why the hell do the turtles have such strange designs? Can't anybody shut the fuck up for one second? Also: Jazz makes Ronnie jealous with some drawings he received.