The summer rolls on, the heat continues, everyone wants to die. But before dying, it's time to discuss Criminal Minds! This time it's the 150th episode in the original series, "Unknown Subject". The sky is empty because the episode is full of stars, from Judith Hoag (the first April O'Neil, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) to Dina Meyer (Birds of Prey, Starship Troopers) to Jay Karnes (TV's Dutch Wagenbach). One or more of them is the mysterious Piano Man, the rapist who uses piano wire and loves piano songs. Who is it? What does it have to do with Prentiss' PTSD? Find out in another thrilling hour-and-a-half-or-so of Deliver The Profile!

Many things are going on and the least interesting one is the episode under discussion, Beyond Borders' "Citizens of the World". Ronnie and Jazz also discuss Nicholas Brendon's get rich sadly scheme, close the book on Babygate (we hope) and Ronnie tries to explain the plot of Mortal Engines to the bemused and hostile. As for "Citizens of the World", two Trump voters get kidnapped in Casablanca. We somehow learn the power of brothers. You wish Humphrey Bogart was in this.

This episode is late, yes, but considering both hosts' laptops are in various stages of death it is lucky there is an episode at all. "Somebody's Watching" posits what if Amber Heard wanted to fuck Spencer Reid. Look, she married Johnny Depp, she clearly has some bad luck with men. (There will be no abuse jokes.) Heard plays a starlet whose stalker is killing people to improve her career, and the team must jetset from Southern California where the show is filmed to Southern California where the episode is set. This is way back in Season 1, so expect to hear about Gideon freaking out when a lesbian hits on him. All that and more awaits your ears.