Happy Halloween, everybody! For the spookiest date of the year, Ronnie and Jazz take on one of the scariest things to ever grace television: Gavin Rossdale in Season 5's "The Performer"! The BAU travels to Los Angeles, the Windy City itself, to stake out a vampire who may or may not have been in Bush. Along the way, the hosts discuss the CBS show Zoo (which they've never seen), bad precinct coffee and the travails of Ronnie's dating life.

Ronnie and Jazz discuss a Season 5 episode of Criminal Minds, "Parasite", which shows the pitfalls of investing your money; the man or tapeworm you give your money to may be crazy. Along the way, they discuss Night Man, Goosebumps and why they care about their Jewish listenership but not their St. Louis Cardinals fan listenership.

In this episode, Ronnie and Jazz take on an unsub who takes peoples' eyes out with a melon baller. But this is more a jumping off point from which they discuss Killer Croc's penis, the Buddhist afterlife, Gremlins, and a potential Criminal TeenMinds spinoff. Also: Ronnie and Jazz's recording session is interloped by a neighbor's baby.

In the inaugural episode of Deliver The Profile, the world's only Criminal Minds podcast, Ronnie and Jazz take a look at Season 4's "Paradise", an episode of television that posits that you cannot trust motels in rural Nevada, or cast members of Star Trek: The Next Generation, or free breakfasts, or anything outside your comfort zone. The guys also try their best to explain the premise and formula of Criminal Minds and explain why Garcia is the most irritating character in existence.