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Deliver The Profile

The Only Criminal Minds Podcast, hosted by Ronnie and Jazz
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Deliver The Profile
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Now displaying: January, 2020
Jan 29, 2020

Ronnie and Jazz really didn't care for this one, despite the fact that it was a change of pace, despite the fact that Paul F. Tompkins was in it. "Saturday" is the BAU's Saturday, in which the characters are not on a case and instead go about their stupid personal lives. Reid meets a girl! Rossi, who is 80 years old, helps assemble a crib! Prentiss is sued by Paul F. Tompkins! Garcia holds a hack-off! If any of these plotlines hold promise to you, you need professional psychiatric care.

Jan 21, 2020

What the hell is "Spectator Slowing"? It's the newest Criminal Minds, but the phrase is nonsense. We thought it was "Spectator SHOWING", but it's not. Anyway, the BAU must stop a mad bomber who sends people photos of their own home along with the bomb. Also, Simmons is at home taking care of his shitty kids. Will his kids be the recipient of a bomb? No. But it'd be cool if that happened. Ronnie and Jazz go over the intricacies of purchasing a corpse and explore the likely polyamorous relationship between the Simmonses and Alvez. It's...definitely another Criminal Minds!

Jan 14, 2020

Well, we've come to it: Season 15. The end of the line. Ronnie and Jazz go long with the two-headed premiere of "Under the Skin" and "Awakenings", which is variously about men's chests, bad impersonations, lesbianism, unrequited love, face ripping and a terrible Iggy Pop cover. The hosts try to keep their sanity by discussing shows from UPN. Remember The Sentinel?

Jan 11, 2020

What's this? A bonus? Yes, Virginia, there is a minisode of Deliver The Profile! In case you don't remember, minisodes are episodes that are an hour or less that don't cover a specific CM show. This time Ronnie and Jazz are assaulted by the catastrophic series of choices that is Criminal Minds going on THE TALK. See, no one in the cast is famous enough to go on Colbert or Fallon or Corden, so they're reduced to appearing on the show that exists to hawk products, especially those CBS owns. What's with all the constant applause? Who are these hosts? Is EVERRYONE drunk? The boys try their best to answer these questions.

Jan 8, 2020

Here it is, episode 150 of Deliver The Profile! What better way to celebrate this milestone than covering the risible Season 14 finale, "Truth or Dare"! Who the hell is this unsub actor and is he actually the worst thespian ever? Who the fuck wanted the possibility of a J.J./Reid romance? Spoilers, by the way: that's the big revelation in "Truth or Dare", the dumbass hour of Criminal Minds about a guy who forces people to kill others because of a truth or dare game gone awry that sent him to prison. This seriously might be the worst Criminal Minds ever. How do Ronnie and Jazz cope? Listen and find out!

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